


Beautiful Mess

by cinematicbeats



Category: Little Mix (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29440986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinematicbeats/pseuds/cinematicbeats
Summary: "You are like a tear in my brand new dress. It's a beautiful mess...""I love him and forever I will. I know he will feel the same for me. One day..."Charlotte always loved Namjoon unconditionally and will always continue to love him, but being with him meant love will create madness. Namjoon was all in for fun and games. Never did he think love was more than just a having a companion to share your thoughts with.Will Namjoon turn into the man Charlotte wants him to be or will this love turn into a beautiful mess?





	1. Chapter 1

I feel crazy while you seem sane  
I saw lightening but you just see rain  
I hear music that's my heart being played  
\----

It was another gloomy day in London. It was pouring cats and dogs outside. I was outside doing errands since Namjoon said he had to do things. I wasn't sure what though? He rarely does errands, he usually leaves that to me. I was wearing my long red trench coat. The heels of my boots were hitting the pavement harshly because I was avoiding getting wet. 

I hate the rain. Besides getting wet, today just felt like a sad day. If the sun was out today it feel completely different. Why did it feel, so sad today? I kept dashing and running through the streets of London. People gave me weird glances, but they don't understand that I catch a cold easily when I get wet. 

I try to find refuge in some stores, but stores were closing for the holidays. My hands were gripping the bags harshly. I didn't bring my car because I don't live far from the city itself. It takes me about 10 minutes to get home. 

I usually check the weather and I did before going out, but the weather was wrong. It didn't say it expected any chance of rain. So I came in only a trench coat since it's cold outside, but with no umbrella. My hair was getting wet, while I ran through the city, gripping onto the bags, so they won't slip. I saw a near by phone booth. I got inside and waited to catch my breath. I took a glance up towards the sky and saw that the clouds started to get darker. That's peculiar. I immediately grabbed my phone with my wet hand and checked the weather. I opened the weather app and saw a red notification on the top.

WARNING THUNDERSTORM APPROACHING TAKE SHELTER. STAY INDOORS. DON'T BE NEAR WINDOWS. IF YOU'RE OUT FIND THE NEAREST SHELTER

My eyes widen. Oh no! I tried pushing the phone booth door open. I loud bang was heard from the strength I used on the door. I fled the phone booth and ran with my might. I'm not much of a runner and these bags were definitely slowing me down. 

I still kept going. There was less and less people on the streets. I finally saw my flat in sight. I ran towards that direction. All of a sudden it started raining extremely hard. I picked up my pace.

I finally arrived to the entrance of the building. I entered the lobby of the building. I saw people retrieving their mail. I went to the receptionist to ask for my mail. "I'm here to pick up for Charlotte Windsor and Kim Namjoon" I said to the middle age lady. She nodded her head and went to the back. I felt droplets dripping down my face. I quickly glanced to the floor and saw a puddle being created on the floor. 

She came back and gave me my mail. "Thank you" I said kindly and walked off. I pressed the button to go up. The elevator door opened and I stepped inside. I pressed number 3 and the elevator started to move.

The bell rang signaling we reached my flat. I stepped outside and walked straight towards my flat. I grabbed my keys from my pocket and jab into the keyhole. I turned it and open the door. I walked inside closing the door in the process. The lights were turned off and it felt cold. 

I guess Namjoon isn't here yet. I sigh and turn the lights on. I place the bag onto the counter. I looked at my hands and saw marks left from the heaviness of the bag. I was drenched from the rain. I slipped my shoes off and shook the coat from my shoulders and placed it in the coat rack. I walked towards the loft. It felt so abandon and gloomy. I saw the rain hitting the windows of my loft harshly. 

I saw all of London taking shelter from the rain that suddenly started to pour. The skies got darker and all of a sudden thunder erupted. I was scared of thunderstorms. I hated them, so much. I tried to distract myself. I went to get a clean pair of clothes. I went to my closet and grab any comfy clothes. I then went to the restroom. I quickly changed and wrapped my hair in a towel. 

I walked out to see that lightning was really harsh. I quickly walked to my phone and dialed Namjoon. "Hello?" his voice sounded raspy. 

"Hey where are you?" I asked.

"Doing some errands" he responded back. 

There was a roaring thunder and then lightning. It made me jump and I felt lonely and scare. "When are you coming back?" I asked in a whisper tone.   
"Not anytime soon babe. Why?" he asked.

"There's heavy lightning Namjoon..." I said trailing off. 

"Babe you're seeing things. There's no lightning. Only rain" he said. He always seemed sane, while I always seemed crazy. 

"But Namjoon-" he cut me off. 

"I have to go. Just relax" he then hung up on me. 

"I love you..." I felt my heart beat slower than usual. 

This was always the thing with Namjoon. He always seemed sane and calm. He never saw anything more then just how it is. Metaphorically speaking if I saw lightning he would always see rain. If I was speaking in literal terms, I could see sparks around us, but he'll only see the ignition. 

I always tend to see more than he does. Like one time when we went to see fireworks, I saw heart shapes, while he saw was the colors of the fireworks, nothing more. I hear music anywhere. He will never. I feel the adrenaline of love and he doesn't. I see colorful sparks. He sees nothing. 

I taste the droplets of sweets. He tastes bitterness that comes afterwards. I place my hand on my heart and touch my chest feeling the my heart beating erratically. He places his hand on my heart and feels no difference. 

People just say that I should stop this chaotic love. I sometimes do ponder on doing that, but then my heart doesn't want to let go of him. I saw a struck of lightning hit the ground and then the lights turned off. There's a power outage. 

I simply tried pushing my fear down and sat on the couch. I got into fetus position and grab a hold of my legs. I tuck it tight to my body. I rocked back and forth. I was sitting alone in the darkness. No one to hold me and no one to feel my pain and love. Only the thunder and lightning were my best friend at the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

The rush remains as I watch you go  
Your kiss still lingers but it's killing me slow  
As I shiver  
In this space where I lay  
\----

1 week later: 

I turned around in my bed and I didn't see Namjoon there. My lips turned into a frown. No wonder the bed felt cold without him. I sat up and stretched myself. I placed my feet on the floor feeling the coldness of the wooden floor. I immediately grabbed my slippers and slip them on. I also grabbed my robe that was lying on the chair by my desk. 

I tied the strings of the rope around me and headed towards the living room that was also connected to the kitchen. He was nowhere in sight. I wonder where he went off too? I shrugged it off and went to the restroom to brush my teeth and my hair. I refreshed my face. Once I was done I went back outside again and heard the jiggling of the door. 

Then appeared Namjoon with some things. He went straight towards the kitchen ignoring my presence. I just walked behind him and wrapped my arms around his torso. "Morning babe" I said placing my head on his shoulder. "Morning" he responded in a monotone trying to wiggle out of my grasp. 

I sigh and let him go. "What did you bring?" I questioned. He shrugged "Nothing really for you. It's more for me" he said. I just nodded at him. "Where did you go?" I question him. He sighed at me "Charlotte what's with all the questioning? Can you give me a breather?" he said walking around me. I felt my heart ache a bit from his rudeness, but didn't say anything else. "Sorry" I mumbled. I saw he ignored my apology. 

"I'll be at my desk" I said. I walked to our bedroom. I had some work to do and this house won't pay itself, so I'll just start doing work. I'm a graphic designer, so I can work in my house when I can't make it to work. I just busy myself and ignored the way he talked to me. Maybe he's just in a bad mood? I sigh again and busied myself with my work...  
\----

"Hey Charlotte can you come?" I heard Namjoon say. I reluctantly got up from my chair and walked to the living room. 

"What is it Namjoon? I'm busy" I said rudely just like he was to me earlier. He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him. 

"Do you like it?" he questioned me. I stood confused when he turned me around. I saw that he made a collage mural of us on the wall. 

"We will get in trouble for painting the walls" I was astonished from his skills. He was an amazing artist. It was his hobby. 

"So who cares? It's for you" he said giving me his dimply smile. I wanted to stay mad at him, but when he gives me that smile I can help, but melt. 

"I love it" I said to him still looking at the amazing mural he painted on our wall. It was all a collage of all the times we went out. "How long did it take you to make this?" I asked. "A couple of days, but who's counting" he said to me. 

"I thought the wall needed to be repair" I said to him. "Well, that's what I told you, so you wouldn't be poking your nose into my surprises" he said still smiling. "That's why you were acting the way you were in the morning" I responded to him. 

He scrunched up his nose and furrow his eyebrows. "Well, not necessary... You're just always in my business. I'm never in yours or question you about anything, so I would like the same in return" he said truthfully. 

Still the way he said it made my heart twist a bit. He was extremely honest with me and it hurted. I let go of his hand and just walked up to the mural. I wish he wasn't brutally honest. He never sugar coats anything and just laughs at me. 

"Beautiful..." was all I said. "Thank you, but any ways I have to go" he said all of a sudden. I turned around and looked at him confused. "Why? I thought we could spend some time together. I'm almost done with work" I said. 

"Sorry babe, but Hoseok invited me for a boys night out. I'll be back later tonight" he said grabbing his coat. My mind finally processed what was happening and I quickly ran to him. I cupped his face and kissed him gently. 

He returned the kiss back, but it was quick. "Okay bye babe" he said leaving. He never was the one to kiss me goodbye. He just leaves. Just like that. I stood there looking at the door he left. There was a rush still left in me when I watched him leave. 

His kiss still lingers on my lips even if it was quick. He doesn't know that he's killing me with these kisses even if he doesn't try to. A shiver ran down my spine, while I felt my lips feeling it tingle from that one simple kiss. I finally gained some consciousness and left to my room. I'll just distract myself with my work. I sat on the chair continuing on my work, but feeling a hollow in me. 

He just needs time to do his own thing. That's what I kept saying to myself.


	3. Chapter 3

It was an innocent mistake to waste my time on you  
When they tell you not to go there  
You don't care  
\----

3 weeks later:

I was sitting in the car, while Namjoon drives. It's been very quiet between us. I haven't spoken to him or utter a single word. He would glance at me every now and then. I leaned my head against the car window and distracted myself with the view of the countryside of London.

He really thinks that going on a mini vacation will subdue the anger that keeps rising inside me? Of course it won't. I heard him sigh. He then placed his hand on my thigh. I swatted it away, not in the mood to deal with this.

"Charlotte, when are we going to move on from this?" He asked with a hint of exhaustion in his voice. I didn't answer him.

"Babe please say something" he begged me. I continue giving him the silent treatment. I ran out of all my will and power last night on him. I rarely ever get mad or yell or even blow up, but yesterday made me realize many things.

It also made me realize that my heart won't stop beating for him. I hate that he'll always have this affect on me. I wish I did have enough will power to have cut all ties...

~Flashback~

I was sitting by the counter waiting on him. He always left me at home by myself and arrived 3 at night. Sometimes, I don't want to assume things, but the anxiety and insecurities get the best of me.

I start coming up with hypothetical theories that maybe he's with another girl doing things he does to me. I shook my head. I can't let these thoughts fly around and consume me. I trust him. He has shown faith to me, so I have to have faith in him. I can't assume the worst if I don't have proof and I know he won't hurt me. I hope...

I blew into my simmering tea and taking light sips to not burn my tongue. I sat on the stool with my legs crossed glancing at the time every 5 seconds. I continue biting my lip, seeing the minutes tick by and no arrival from him.

He never came home this late. Never. And the worst part of it all he never answers his phone when he's out with his friends. I tap my foot impatiently. Where could he be? The minutes keep flying by and no sign of Namjoon. I ran my hand through my hair in distress. He always worries me. He's always doing something risky or troublesome when he's out with his friends.

The clock kept ticking. I felt like it was mocking me with each tic toc.

Tic toc...

Tic toc...

Tic toc...

3:38 the clock struck. I then heard the door jiggle. I remained in my seat patiently with a sigh of relief. Then the door swung open. I saw Namjoon step inside, but not by himself. I saw the rest of the gang with him. I gave them a puzzled look, but nonetheless kept sipping my tea.

Namjoon's back was facing me and I saw he was giving them the quiet signal. I sat quietly observing him and the rest of them. Once he turned around he froze in place. "Charlotte? What are you doing up so late?" He questioned me nervously.

"I could ask the same Namjoon" I said sipping my tea. I place my cup of tea on the coaster and got up slowly. "And may I ask why are your friends in our flat?" I asked inching Namjoon each time.

He chuckled nervously and looked around, avoiding looking me in the eyes. "They needed a place to crash" he lied to my face. "Really? That's odd since they have their own place they live in" I said standing in front him now.

"Well, we went to the pub and since it was close by our flat, they decided to crash in. Also they are too drunk to drive to their own flats" said Namjoon still lying to me. "They could call cab to take them home" I said crossing my arms and giving him dagger eyes.

"Well its my flat Charlotte, so if I want them to stay they can stay" he walked around me annoyed. I was also annoyed with him lying to me, ignoring me, and coming home late. I had enough! I followed him and grabbed his shoulder making him stop. I made him turn around to face me.

"I want the truth Namjoon. Where the heck have you been doing?" I tried to stay calm, but my irritation was seeping through. "Nothing" he pushed my hand away and tried walking away from me. I grabbed his wrist and faced him again.

"We're not done talking! You don't walk away when I'm asking you a question" I glared at him. "Stop overreacting" he said to me. That drove me over the edge. "That's it!" I fumed in anger. "I'm so sick and tired of this Namjoon! I'm tired of waiting for you to arrive home! I'm so tired of you always putting me second place like I was some object or when you need me! And you know what? I know you're lying to me. I know that all you say to me is a lie. Now let me ask this again. WHERE. HAVE. YOU. BEEN. DOING?" I said through gritted teeth.

He stood still a bit shock at my sudden outburst. I knew this was awkward for his friends, but I don't care. Not anymore. "Charlotte stop making a scene. You're kinda embarrassing me and making my friends feel uncomfortable" he said, which made me more angrier.

"You know what?" I faked laughed at him. "This we have was an innocent mistake. I should've left this mess" I turned my back to him and tried to avoid everyone's gaze. "Maybe we should leave Nam-" Namjoon cut off Hoseok. "No. Charlotte is just overreacting as usual. So if you want to know, so badly here it goes. We went to spray paint the building across Lindin towers. We were protesting" he said.

My eyes widen and I looked at everyone, who was giving me a sheepish smile. My face turned sour and I shook my head in disappointment. "So let me guess the police were on your trail and you lost and decided to crash and avoid trying to reach your own flats?" They nodded at me.

I put my hand on my head and then rubbed my temples. He knows better. Everytime someone tells him he can't go there or can't do that he does the opposite. "I'm not surprised anymore" I mumbled.

"Charlotte this was done out of protest-" I cut him off.

"No. No it wasn't. You always have to do the opposite. Go against what anyone says including me. And I'm done Namjoon. I'm seriously done having to worry every night where you are. This was all a mistake. We are a mistake" I immediately went to the room to grab my luggage I packed earlier.

I heard footsteps follow me. "Aww c'mon babe. Stop overreacting. It was harmless protest" he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. I used my fist and tried to release myself from his grip. I banged on his chest, but he kept pulling me until I crashed into his chest.

He then wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck.He would usually do this and I would always forgive him. This was a tactic he would use on me and I would always fall puddy to his hands.

But I was serious this time around. With all my might I push him off. He looked at me shock. He didn't think I was going to do this to him. I grabbed my suitcase and started walking out. "Charlotte wait let's talk about this" I continue walking out.

The boys stared at me shock from my actions. I chose to ignore Namjoon and his friends. Then I felt a hand grab my wrist. "C'mon Latte don't leave..." his voice held a gloomy tone to it, but it was probably my imagination. I ripped my hand from his hold. I kept walking. "Latte..." that nickname he used for me.

Why is it difficult to leave him? Why can't I just continue walking out? My heart craves him. All of him and he knows it. My heart is addicted and can't get enough, but my mind is telling me to go cold turkey. Yet here I am waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"I plan us a mini vacation. Maybe it could ease the tension" he said. I didn't really expect him to say that. I thought he was going to apologize... But Namjoon never apologizes.

"I'm sleeping over my friends house. Goodluck on your mini vacation" and then I left.

~End of Flashback~

He forced me to go and wouldn't take no for an answer. He came to my friends house and wouldn't leave me until I agree to go with him. He later started causing a scene and neighbors started complaining. I eventually agreed, but I wish I was stronger than that.

My heart was happy, but my mind wasn't. This internal conflict is the reason why I'm still in this same old love. I sigh looking at the trees we are passing by. I started counting each one distracting myself once again from his stares.


	4. Chapter 4

In your shadow I pray  
It's a beautiful mess you made  
You had your fun and games  
\----

1 month later:

After our mini vacation I thought things would change, but they didn't. He still went out with his buddies and left me alone. Tonight, was no difference. I was in my pajamas ready to watch a movie with him, but I see him all dressed up ready to go out. I had a questioning look on my face.

"Where you going? I thought it was movie night" I say to him. He nods his head and fixes his collar from his shirt. "Yeah it is, but I got plans" he said. I scoffed lowly and turn my head facing the telly. "Like always" I muttered angrily.

I later felt a presence right be side me. I slowly look up to see him staring at me with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. "Is someone jealous?" He tilted his head sideways as if he was mocking me.

I waved him off and return my focus on the telly. He immediately snatched the remote from my hand and turned of the telly. "Hey!" I said standing up immediately. He had a smirk on his face. I tried snatching the remote back, but he raised it above his head. Since he's taller than me even with tippy toes, I had to jump to reach it.

"Namjoon, give me the remote back" I kept jumping. I got tired, so instead I just stood on my tip toes and tried snatching it from there. I didn't realize my shirt had ridden up when I felt his hand on the exposed part of my waist. My skin grew goosebumps and I shudder at his simple touch.

His face got closer and I felt his breath tickle my neck. My brain stopped functioning and my heart started accelerating. He then kissed my ear gently. "You want it then come get it" he whispered before taking off from our flat towards the hallway. I finally was able to process what was happening and realized that he ran off.

"NAMJOON" I yelled, while chasing after him. I heard chuckles from the end of the hallways. I slipped on some slippers and took off without locking the door. I saw him standing by the staircases. "Don't you dare-" but before I could finish he entered and ran down the stairs.

I need to really work out because I'm getting tired from this game. I entered the stairway and started running down the steps. I could hear his faint still present steps. I kept running and running. "C'mon babe you need to pick up the pace" he taunted me.

"I swear Namjoon when I catch you you'll be dead" I said half scolding half joking.

"Then catch me. I wanna see" he kept teasing.

I finally saw him push the door open that led to the lobby of the building. I ran towards there, but when I entered the lobby he wasn't anywhere in sight. I kept walking in my short shorts and a shirt that Namjoon gave me to wear as my pj's.

I then spotted him. I ran towards him, but when I got closer he was talking with a girl. A girl I've never met. She too was dressed nicely. My mind got the best of me and I stomped all the way to him.

I tapped his shoulder and he turned around. I crossed my arms in front of my chest. He faced me "Oh man you caught me" he winked. I held a serious face. He then chuckle right at my face. "Charlotte let me introduce you to Hoseok sister. She's here visiting and the boys and I will be giving her a tour" he said.

Then when I took a closer look I immediately recognized from photos Hoseok has showed me. "Hi" I stuck my hand out and greeted her. She did the same back. I saw the boys come in. "Hey Namjoon. Char-" their eyes widen and I immediately covered my bare thighs. My face turned a slight shade of red.

"You guys go. I'll be there" they tear their gaze from me and walked away with Hoseok's sister. Namjoon stood there and then handed me the remote. "Well I gotta go" he said.  
My face turned sour. "Why is that you always put me second place?" I said.

He sighed at me. "Don't start this here babe" I just looked at him bewildered. "It's all fun and games Namjoon until one of us gets hurt" he just rolled his eyes.  
"Well, I gotta go" he waved goodbye and starting to disappear from my sight.

I just saw his shadow and I prayed that one day I will never see his shadow leave me when we had planned things for the night. I hope his fun and games will end. Someday...


	5. Chapter 5

I love you  
To you that means so much less  
You are like a tear in my brand new dress  
It's a beautiful mess  
\----

5 months later:

"I love him and forever I will. I know he will feel the same for me. One day..."

I was talking to myself again. Once in awhile it was good to just talk to yourself and encourage yourself, but you knew those encouragement you say are a bunch of lies. Namjoon was off to his usual antics again. He was out having fun and the time of his life, while I sit here just counting the floor tiles alone.

My friends say this is toxic love. My mind agrees, but my heart doesn't. My heart wants to continue beating, while my mind wants me to live in freedom and no worries. My heart is just afraid of getting hurt and especially afraid that it might just stop beating all at once.

My mind doesn't care about the beating. My heart will continue to beat no matter what. My mind is just sick and tired of being trapped in a toxic love cage that I can't seem to get out.

I sigh. I always wonder why did I get myself into? Why was I the one to have fallen for him? Why was I the one paying for it? The I love you's don't mean a thing to Namjoon. The words are just meaningless. He says people just throw that word around without even meaning it. He says I love you has lost its meaning.

I can't argue with that, but why does my heart beat faster when I'm around him? Why do I get a fuzzy feeling deep in my stomach? Why do I feel warm everytime we touch? Why is it when we're together everything becomes crystal clear?

Am I just crazy?

I reluctantly get up from my bed and walk over to the couch that's next to the huge window. I stare at the outside of London. Seeing all the couples kissing and holding hands. I wonder why can't we be like? I want to be like that.

I leaned my head against the window feeling like a stalker watching couples be, so loving with each other. I inhaled then exhaled feeling my heart ache a bit. Is being in a relationship like this, even worth it? I really don't know.

He's definitely not my first boyfriend, but definitely the first to show me respect as a women. He cares for me... In his own little way. He might not tell me he loves me, but he sure does give me my place as a women... When he's not being his arrogant self.

I continue to stare at the open landscape that had promises that will never be made. Still what am I complaining about?

I fell in love with Namjoon and his flaws. I fell for the way he is. He never pretended to be someone that he wasn't. He always made sure he was his true honest self. He always showed me his true colors.

I just never thought that he was all in for fun and games. Our relationship just doesn't describe the typical one, where both people show love for one another. Our relationship is more messy, more raw, more real in some aspects. Maybe I am going crazy. Crazy for love. Crazy for wanting to stay with him after all he puts me through.

I create peace. He creates madness. I create shelter. He creates abandonment. The atmosphere he creates around us is unstable, while I try to be the foreground. He's destruction and I'm salvation.

We're polar opposites that are made for one another. We need the other to function properly. We need each other to balance this chaos. This mess. This beauty. This tender rawness.

Our love is unique in some ways. Unique that no one else has this type of love. Love like this is rare and only comes with two special types of people. I can only describe this transparent love in two words.

Beautiful.

Mess.

This is exactly how our love is. This is exactly what our love is. This is exactly why our love is this way. Namjoon is the devil, while I'm the angel. I have to keep making him do good, but all he ever wants to do is bad. At least with me he knows. He knows he could loose me. He knows one simple wrong move and I'm out of his life.

Yet, he seems to not know his own actions are hurting him more than me. This blind of a love we call is a beautiful mess because our love in the depths of all layers is a beauty that stands, but to everyone else our love is chaotic.

Yet, we both know it. We both know our love isn't picture perfect and we both know it'll never be. We will never have a normal type of relationship. A normal type of love, but then again what is normal?

I got up from my seat and walk towards my closet. I started to pack things up. I knew what I had to do. I knew why I'm doing this. One by one my luggage started filling up with clothes, items, anything that belongs to me.

I finally had everything ready except for this one last thing. My brand new dress with a slight tear on the side. I remember when he bought it for me for our date. I remember dressing up, so nice just for him to only be rescheduled because he had plans with his friends.

Present day:

That was the only thing I left behind me. Now, I'm in a flat all by myself recalling every event and turns that were key for me to disappear from his life.  
I live back home in South Shields, UK. I just simply left a small letter just saying goodbye and I wish him luck.

Since that day it's been almost three months. Never had I heard from him again. I changed my number. I couldn't bare the thought he might try and call me. I just couldn't... I sat on the couch watching the telly. I was scrolling through channels when I heard a small knock on my door.

I peeled the warm blanket from my body and walked towards the door. I simply opened the door without much thought and was surprised with a kiss. My eyes widen for a moment until I felt those plump lips moulding with mine. I knew then and there this was the same person I left three months ago.

I wanted to push him back, but he grabbed my waist and pulled us closer together. I tried my hardest, but ended up kissing him back. I wanted to saviour every moment of this. I wanted to savior his taste on my lips just before I have to kick him out.

He abruptly ended the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine. Out breaths were mixing and mingling around us. His eyes were close and kept breathing hard.  
"Don't leave me" my eyes widen in shock.

"W-what-" he cut me off.

"Don't ever leave me like that. I need you Charlotte. I need your sanity in my life" his eyes were still closed. His face looked focus and scared all at once.

"Namjoon... We just can't keep doing this" I said looking at him.

"Charlotte, please stay with me" he said a bit softer this time. My heart started accelerating hearing those words.

"Namjoon are relationship is complicated. We can't be together. Our love is just a mess and very reckless" I stated.

This time he looked me in the eye and cupped my face. "I love that our love is complicated and not easy to follow. Our love isn't a mess. It's a beautiful mess we have together. You're the beauty in it, while I'm the mess that comes along. We need each other. I need your beauty in my life. You need my mess in your life. Our love is a beautiful mess, we always knew it from the start. Nobody, will ever break this amazing thing we have because we are the only ones who have this type of love. You are my beauty Charlotte" I melted in his long speech.

I kissed him long and hard. I missed his touches. I missed his words. He was always a romantic. In the end of the day, our love will always be a beautiful mess.


End file.
